The Joy of Teaching English Posted on 13 Feb 00:01 , 0 comments

The joy of teaching English is making fun of your students.

Now, usually, I try not to do this in front of them. But my students would tell you that I’ve laughed uncontrollably at their pronunciation …. more than once. I can’t help it. It’s funny.

So funny in fact that I started keeping a list. Maybe you will enjoy making fun of my students too. I’ve written up a little dictionary of their failed attempts at speaking English. Or perhaps it would be better to call it a manifestation of my failed attempt to teach it.

Womens: Noun. Plural of woman.

Student: “Yes it is normal to have a girlfriend or a woman.”

Me: “No, you don’t mean woman…what is the correct word?” (Trying to get the student to self correct and say ‘wife’.)

Student: (thinks carefully) “Oh yes – not woman – WOMENS! Because I have so many!”

Disconcentrate: Adj. Inability to concentrate.

Student: “I can’t work now, I feel very disconcentrate.”

Weirda: Noun. Feminine of weirdo.

Me: “Lucas, you are such a weirdo.”

Lucas: “No Vina, YOU are weirda!”

Medicaments: Noun. Medication.

Student: “I must to go to the pharmacia for to buy my medicaments.”

Joomy: Argentine pronunciation of ‘yummy’.

Lucas: “This is very joomy, even for be vegetables.”

True and Fake: True and False.

Student: “Is there a true and fake section on the test?”

Remodelating: Verb. To remodel.

Student: “My house is a mess because we are remodelating.”

Spoot: Verb. To spit.

Lucas: “It was vegetable so I spoot it out.”

Stucked on: Phrasel Verb.  To be caught in something. 

Student text message: I will be there in 10 minutes. I’m stucked on traffic.

(He later tried to convince me that this was a typo….)

Flaber: Verb. To flirt.

Lucas: “All the girls want to flaber with me. It’s not my fault to be handsome.”

Headcake: Noun. Headache.

Student: “I have a headcake.”

Teacher: “Headcakes are the worst.”

Brushteeth: Noun. Toothbrush.

Student: “Was lost my brushteeth!”